Advertising Satire Pillows

"That's false advertising - I didn't see any string!"

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"It lost a little something in translation."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

'This is Bob - our secret agent of change.'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

The Corporate Rat.

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

Death Boss

'I can live with you not wanting to push the envelope, but your refusal to think outside the box...'

Boardroom cream pies.

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"I've decided the most honorable course of action is for me to take the blame...and pin it on Gordon."

'Now that the price of gold is up, we'd like to have your retirement watch back, Boggs.'

'While I'm not looking for the typical 'Yes Man', I want a man who finds it extremely difficult to say 'No' to my suggestions.'

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

'I wanted you in a position where I felt you could grow.'

"It's good to be able to recognize everyone."

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

'We heat the entire building by burning resumes.'

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"Here - I've no use for spreadsheets where I'm going."

'I hired a motivational speaker once, but unfortunately all of my employees left to get better jobs.'

"Yeah, but no progress in meeting..."

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'