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"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"It lost a little something in translation."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'This is Bob - our secret agent of change.'

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

Death Boss

'I can live with you not wanting to push the envelope, but your refusal to think outside the box...'

Boardroom cream pies.

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

'While I'm not looking for the typical 'Yes Man', I want a man who finds it extremely difficult to say 'No' to my suggestions.'

'Now that the price of gold is up, we'd like to have your retirement watch back, Boggs.'

'I wanted you in a position where I felt you could grow.'

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

'The boss has a distinct way of chewing you out.'

Cold caller.

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

'Gurkenman! The fact that you've got a height-adjustable desk does not mean that you've been promoted into a higher position!'

"Here - I've no use for spreadsheets where I'm going."

'Corporate Sydney'

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"It's a letter from my boss. He says he's not paying me for the time I've been stranded on this island."

'We heat the entire building by burning resumes.'

"May I remind you that I'm still in charge here, Baskin. And when I say, 'Jump,' you say, 'How many floors.'"