Marketing Satire T-Shirts

100 Fat. Now with 50 less fat.

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

"It lost a little something in translation."

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

Death Boss

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

'I can live with you not wanting to push the envelope, but your refusal to think outside the box...'

Boardroom cream pies.

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'Now that the price of gold is up, we'd like to have your retirement watch back, Boggs.'

'While I'm not looking for the typical 'Yes Man', I want a man who finds it extremely difficult to say 'No' to my suggestions.'

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

'I wanted you in a position where I felt you could grow.'

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

'Corporate Sydney'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"May I remind you that I'm still in charge here, Baskin. And when I say, 'Jump,' you say, 'How many floors.'"

"Here - I've no use for spreadsheets where I'm going."

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

Perfection Troubleshootors.

'Gurkenman! The fact that you've got a height-adjustable desk does not mean that you've been promoted into a higher position!'

'We heat the entire building by burning resumes.'

'The boss has a distinct way of chewing you out.'

Cold caller.

"It's a letter from my boss. He says he's not paying me for the time I've been stranded on this island."