Advertisements Gifts

'...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys don't really have a gun...no this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant...'

'Here comes the bit from the advert.'

'If you drive it like they do in the advertisements, you void the warranty.'

'Okay. If this new TV's as smart as a computer, where's the 'Skip Ad' button?'

'After nine commercials I've forgotten what film we were watching.'

"Just once, I wish you'd show the same energy at home as you do at work!"

"Listen! They're playing our song...only now it's our insurance company's jingle."

'Maybe it's a placebo, maybe it's not, but you'll feel better after taking it.'

Injured in a bumper car accident?! Get the money u deserve! One call! Get it all!

'Consumer alert! Consumer alert! - If it tastes good, spit it out!'

'...and here's your free shake.'

"They just showed one of those TV commercials that say you can feed a starving child for 49 cents a day."

Green Bottles Sought for Wall Experiment.

Do you feel tired at night or groggy when you wake up in the morning? Do you feel full after meals? Does persistent loud noise give you headaches?! You might well be suffering PNS. Perfectly normal syndrome is nothing to take lightly. But there is a cure. Call now and receive two bottles of placebo pills for the low, low price of $19.99. Don't delay. Failure to act could leave you groggy, feeling full, frightened after horror films. Side effects of placebo include blindness and diarrhea.

Ask your doctor if Hallucinogenix® is right for you!

Rabbit on highway with billboards saying "Woof!".

The nice thing about soccer is that there are no commercials.

Real Estate Personals

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

"I'm not a real doctor, because I was I'd be sued for telling you this about Verocyl."

Woman on desert island reads message she finds in a bottle: 'It's an ad for a diet club.'

Visit Our Gift Shop

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"Hmm, for some reason I want a snack!"

"They really are chunky."

This mirage was brought to you by Aqua Pure bottled water

Senior Pick-Up Lines

"We take cash, credit, or you can watch our ad 92 times."

Go for it! Do a Hot Dog!

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

'Big-time operators are standing by....'

'Yes, I know our ad said that no salesman would call -- my boss says I'm no salesman.'

'Well, I never go anywhere, American Express -- How does that grab you?'

'I thought it was just going to be attack ADS.'

'Thank goodness for these commercials on the nightly news or we'd never be aware that we need all these prescription medications.'