Advertisers Gifts

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

"The genetic engineers gave him that birthmark as part of a sponsership deal."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

World War 3 live on T.V. "The special effects are lousy compared to the jeans commercials"

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."

Mt. Rushmore Spinoffs.

'Well you said you wanted to be a director!'

'Shark bites seem to be more numerous than ever this year.'

Innocent Joe Public about to be shot with 'direct response marketing' arrow by ad agency

'Buy plain packet cigarettes - get free coloured pens to make your own packet design.'

"We specialize in pretrial publicity."

"Uh-oh. Not a good start to the holiday shopping season."

"He forgot to record his show, so he had to watch it live. 693 commercials in one hour was too much for him to handle."

"Try our product for 30 days! If not completely satisfied, try it rectally!"

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

'I'm thinking of going into advertising.'

Oh sure...! We do all the work and he gets all the commercial endorsements!

'Think of us as 'Madmen', only with more technical expertise, minus the drinking and sex.'

'Ted was an inveterate ad man.'

Cowboy 'Clients' and Indian 'Ad agencies' looking for dollars,

'Don't say I didn't warn you. The rising tide of consumer indifference is finally catching up with us.'

Ad companies ignoring minorities even though they hold the buying power

'So you got the endorsement contract?'

"Wow! I can feel it tingle so it must be getting rid of my dandruff!"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'How fast can you hype?'

Director/Action Man toy.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"