Advertising Gifts

"It sort of makes you stop and think, doesn't it."

Winner of the Worst Slogan Contest.

"Maybe you should disable your cookies, Steve."

'50% off to all vegans.'

'I like it. It's catchy and easy to remember.'

Great Poets of Catalogdom

'...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name.'

When Focus Group Researchers Go Head to Head

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

Last Real Tough-Minded Thinking for 200 Miles

"If this drug doesn't relax your nerves, try chanting its incredibly soothing brand name."

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

"Your body language says you've lost interest."

"The active ingredient is marketing."

'It's so new we don't know what it does, but nobody else has it so we're selling the hell out of it.'

'We need a campaign to tell the public that we put social responsibility ahead of profits so we can make more profits.'

'Legal says we could get by with the term 'super' but adding 'duper' might be pushing it.'

Good start. Needs more gibberish.

"Now, that's product placement!"

'Hey! We've never tried a 'pity' strategy before...'

Cutting corners can cost money.

Advertising campaign before product development

"We can't say 'new and improved' until we come up with a product."

"Come in, Timpson. I'd love to hear your opinions of the new marketing strategy - so long as they don't clash with mine."

'I'm giving you 10,000 free golf balls with my company's logo on them. Since you'll lose every one of them, it'll be good advertising.'

'We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy.'

Lethal Presentation

"...so today you'll be vaccinating Jenny against measles, mumps and child-targeted television commercials."

'I don't know what it means, but sales have skyrocketed since I put the 'i' in front of it.'

'So, Bob, we've decided to do some rebranding!'

'To tell you the truth, I don't think the average consumer will notice. Run with it.'

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"We produce an inferior line of goods. That's why we're looking for a real first class marketing man."

Targeted Advertising