Advent Calendar Fanatic Pillows

Can't meet this week - Got a chocolate kiss on the 22nd, a candy cane on the 23rd, and ... oh, my bad. I'm looking at my advent calendar.

Glastonbury. After.

Mardi Gras

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Southwark Fair.

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Home depot."

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"I said slime."

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

"I hope you don't mind leftovers."

Santa called but you were out!

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

Fall on a desert island