Adult Humor Aficionados Gifts

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"They're comfortable."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Stairlift around cliff face.

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

The First Fire Stick

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Unemotional Support Animal

"She wishes to range free!"