Admirer Of Humor In Medicine Gifts

A dermatologist swats a bug on a patient's back

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

"I stand corrected."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Happy Birthday to you.

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

'Time for your pills.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

Operating Room Humor. Why are anesthesiologists assumed to be honest? Because numb-ers don't lie!

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"Gross."

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'Long shift?'

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'