Administrative Assistant Gifts

"Hey! I was looking all over for you. You have the wrong piece of paper."

'How close to the truth do you want to come, sir?'

Morris was finding it more difficult to adjust to the idea of a 'paperless' office than many.

Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?

'911!'

Someone who knows apostrophes

Man looking at a 'organization chart' where he is depicted at the bottom

"Ms Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel the call to tech-support."

'They're draft outlines on how to run a paperless office.'

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Who ordered 10,000 copies of how to conserve paper?'

"Yes sir, we are dealing with your invoice at this very minute."

Dave began to question the new secretary's competency when he found her using rubber gloves to avoid computer viruses.

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

'I have to hang up. I only have an hour to get these reports done.'

In and Out Tray

"I can't understand how it got lost - I haven't filed it yet"

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

"The longer I work here, the bigger my stress ball needs to be".

'Call me crazy, but I think my paperwork is actually following me.'

Stacked In Tray

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

"Here is the one pager we all agreed on..."

"I'm worried about Jenkins. He went in three days ago and hasn't come out."

Widgets, Inc: Inventory. . . Sales. . .RETURNS.

'This one says, order more sticky notes.'

The Bermuda Cubicle

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

"I can assure you, he is somewhere in there looking for it."

"This letter is brief, clear and concise, do it again!"

It's a big misconception. Everyone thinks hell is all fire. Actually, it's all paperwork.'

Smug Colleagues Leaving Work.

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

'For various reasons, Mr. Bigmeister likes to limit contact with his rank and file employees.'