Administrative Aide Gifts

Secretary to boss: 'You fooled some of the people all of the time, Senator, but they were all too young to vote.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

21st century water cooler conversations.

Storm in the out tray

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Do Not Resuscitate

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Overworked in the office

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

Time for More Paperwork

Organization is not rocket science!

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"At this office no two days are different."

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Paperwork No Me Gusta.

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'