Ad-loving Couch Potato Pillows

"What do you mean it's all sport, sport, sport? You love the adverts."

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

Grass saying: mow me/feed me/weed me/roll me.

"Business has picked up since we introduced short term cryogenic stays for the football off season."

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

"You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping breakfast, and jumping to conclusions doesn't count."

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

"I dropped my phone. Would you mind skiing the 20 miles back up hill to find it? I would do it, but I'm out of shape and lazy."

"Funding for 'Nova' is provided by Merck and Lockheed, by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and by annual financial support from viewers like you."

'Dracula watches his first late night horror show.'

Aflac Fan and Matlock Fan Argue

Olympics Couch.

'Sorry, we couldn't pry the remote from his fingers.'

'He's been reading it for the past 20 years!'

"Haven't you heard? Twenty's the new ten!"

"Grab me a zebra while you're up will ya, hon?"

'Grandma said the only thing you like to draw is your pension!'

'You're right, it is too nice outside to play inside. Could you help me carry the TV and PlayStation out to the deck?'

Man getting excited about 'The pawn channel'

"Ed's world line is a dot."

'You need an exercise program other than bar-hopping.'

'Not knowing my credit score can keep me from getting laid'

"Find the remote yet?"

"Say, Fred – this is Wally. How about a beer?"

Man watching book being read on television.

Man's fear of commitment extends to the television, where he cannot decide on a program.

'Tired of dry dry dog food? Stir-fried doggy dips will make you sit up and woof for more!'

'After seeing about 20,000 commercials a year, I don't think I have any sales resistance at all.'