Avid Couch Potato Pillows

Man getting excited about 'The pawn channel'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

Homo Zapiens

Unconditional Loveseat

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

Oh, the usual. They're watching 'American Idol' and I'm watching Americans idle.

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"Business has picked up since we introduced short term cryogenic stays for the football off season."

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

"He's fine, Ma'm."

"I eat shit and I like it."

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

Hey, I could get used to this couch potato thing.

The inevitability of animal husbandry.

"You know, dear, planting your base in a chair and eating chicken is not 'plant-based' eating."

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'I wish to lose all excess weight.'

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

Football Fan.

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."