Active Lifestyle Humorist Pillows

Late Bloomers

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Bench Press Accident

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Health

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

Snowman with big carrot nose to one with small carrot nose: 'I'd increase your beta carotene.'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Still on your left."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Jeff was watching his weight.

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Root, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

"I wanted crisps but this assessed my body mass index and gave me an apple ..."

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

'How can it be whole if the wheat has been ground into a powder?'

'Yes, a diet can cause stress, especially if it's your husband's.'