Action-adventure Skeptics Gifts

"I can't believe they advertised that movie as a cerebral, understated action-adventure, when it was clearly a mind-bending, quirky drama."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

Our super-heroes bravely battling a brutally blustery day!

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

Workaholic on a cruise

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"Well, really, there's nothing that would stop us from actually working. It's just tradition that has us drones lazing around."

Stuntmen Directions

'So, were we entertained tonight, or just bludgeoned into submission?'

Life on Earth - Why bother?

"When I die, I want to come back at anything except a book of short stories."

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

"It wasn't as good as his first book, 'Eating Worms.'"

'Friend or foe?'

"Enough with the hard-luck stories about spanking and cursive and appointment television, Dad."

"Boss, if you could be any superhero, which one would it be?" "Insurance-Adjuster-Man." "In a world where superheroes were real, there'd be an awful lot of collateral damage to buildings and infrastructure." "Insurance-Adjuster-Man would probably clear six figures by breakfast." "'Heroes' aren't in it for the money." "Of course they are. Take Lex Luthor, for instance..."

"Let's go to my sister's house. They have the 'Absolutely No Super Hero Movies Channel.'"

HD television.

'Baldo, being on TV requires talent.'

"Sometimes I wish I were a character in a video game."

Man reading a giant book.

"What kind of idiot gets suckered into something like that?"

'That 'Jonah' story sounded FISHY to me!'

'Okay, I'll wake you if there's a car chase.'

"Like many Americans, I allowed myself to believe the mainstream media’s distorted, dystopian portrait of President Trump. I no longer hold this belief..."

"Science fiction? Boring! It's always about gravity and blue skies and two-legged aliens. I prefer non-fiction."

"Well, you call them fairy tales, I call them fake news."

'The number of people who, like me, don't trust the media anymore is steadily rising...'

'Shouldn't a cultural center have more to it than video games?'