Acting Fan Gifts

Joan Hickson

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Jester Surgeon

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

Ghostship

'You're thinking of your wife again, aren't you?'

'Therapy in L.A.'

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

Scientific Method Acting

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"Granted, there's no business like show business, but that's not the business I know."

'...all I have to do is pee on cue.'

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

"I can't find my box of magic tricks. Have you seen it?"

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

"Remember, you're a 17-year old fashion model. Now go out and act like you've never acted before."

"Tonight Mathew, I'm going to be, Charlotte Church"

'Please hold any incoming personal calls for me. I need to disappear into character for a while!'

'Alas irrefutable confirmation.'

'You're always bragging about what a good actor you are, so why don't you act your age?!'