Acting Fan Pillows

Michael Caine.

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

Joan Hickson

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Jester Surgeon

Ghostship

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

Bette Midler

Meryl Streep

'Therapy in L.A.'

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."

'You're thinking of your wife again, aren't you?'

Scientific Method Acting

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

"Granted, there's no business like show business, but that's not the business I know."

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"I can't find my box of magic tricks. Have you seen it?"

Sir John Gielgud.

Daniel Day Lewis

"When you said you were high up in the the music business..."

'...all I have to do is pee on cue.'

South Pork

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

Melanie Griffith

'Please hold any incoming personal calls for me. I need to disappear into character for a while!'

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

"Tonight Mathew, I'm going to be, Charlotte Church"

'Alas irrefutable confirmation.'

'You're always bragging about what a good actor you are, so why don't you act your age?!'