Acronym Wizard Gifts

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"My preferred pronoun is they."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

Ninedency: A budding tendency

The Family Joules: Part 21

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

The Proust of Twitter

"It's a play on words."

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.