Acronym Wizard Pillows

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

The Proust of Twitter

"My preferred pronoun is they."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"It's a play on words."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."