Naming Wizard Gifts

'And what kind of parents name a kid 'cheese'.'

'Ok, I came up with a new name for my invention. Now it's called the cyclone cylinder!'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

The Family Joules: Part 21

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"It's a play on words."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."