Acronym Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm off to the A.G.M. the C.B.I. then the D.T.I. - after that I'm going home to B.E.D.'

'Get these over to the acronym department A.S.A.P.'

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

Valentine Cards

STRIP Hambone: Silly features

'WOW! They appointed me an 'O.F.W.A.W.M.S. Manager'... wait a minute... what the... that means 'Old Fart Without Any Worth Mentioning Sales'??!!"

"Have you noticed, after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF?"

"Bring your own table."

"What's an NFT but another *TLA."

Alphabet Soup

'Lance, what does 'NSFW' stand for?'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'We ran into a glitch developing this new student data transfer program. It works well but we can't agree on a suitable acronym.'

'It stands for Mothers Against Dyslexia.'

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

Naming that Impala

Tom Cruise

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

Male On Sunday

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

"Wait ... I always thought taking each other for granted was a good thing!"

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

Ovalifolium Longifora

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"