Acronym Enthusiasts Gifts

"After pondering acronyms in the order of 3, I deduce that any who scrutinize the CIA, FBI, or FED may end up DOA!"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

"I found out why we study vocabulary. Last night, my mother told me to ruminate, and I spent three hours in my room."

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

Tom Cruise

'Lance, what does 'NSFW' stand for?'

Naming that Impala

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

What really became of the boy named Sue.

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"Wait ... I always thought taking each other for granted was a good thing!"

"Sometimes, occasionally, from time to time, now and then, periodically I wish I'd never been given this Thesaurus."

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

Male On Sunday

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

Backdoor

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

Yep, that's me in a pea pod! In a pea pod�?? I think "nutshell" has been vastly overused.

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'