Accidental Host Gifts

"Asking them to stay for dinner was a great idea. I didn't think they'd ever go."

Barbeque Casualty.

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

A DIY disaster.

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'It wasn't premeditated.

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

'Oy!...Did you spill my pinata!?'

"Larry does all his own stunts."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

Bathing and Showering.

'You're being unreasonable,Hank. Me dropping your 17-pound bass was an accident.'

A Not So Grand Slam.

"I blacked out for ten minutes this morning - Then I realised I had put my hoodie on backwards."

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'

Cotton candy

Freak Accident Specialist

"Can you hear me now?"

"Of course your dad loves the roller-skates you got him. He just went through the door with them."

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

"Have some more tea, Mrs. Van Sickleford. Wendell is going to show you his mastodon tusk."

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

"Well done!"

"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."

Upon winning another bowling championship, Dalton throws his ball to the spectators.

'My hubby is unusually handy about the house. . . unusual in that, he is always the problem to the solution!'

I just LOVE these giant mushroom caps. They can be real conversation stoppers just when you need them.

Hair trigger

The best place for a dartboard is not beside an open window.

'-and the look on his face when you overtook him in the Car Wash!'

"Whoa! Looks like a worker's comp thing, Carl."

"I thought they were supposed to comeback."

'I'm not an experienced cook so I use the smoke alarm as my timer!'

Congratulations, Mort. I noticed your campaign has already raised over $250,000. My what did what now? Very funny. I admire you, Mort. No Democrat has had the guts to take on Congressman Snidely in over 40 years. What are you talking about? I'm not running for anything. You've got a profile page up on the Justice Democrats' website. You're neck-and-neck in the polls. Justice Dem -- Wait a second, I thought I was ordering a t-shirt. I wondered why they had to run a background check for that. You'