Accidental Leader Gifts

Is it greatness, if it's flung at you!

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

A DIY disaster.

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

'It wasn't premeditated.

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"Would someone dim the lights? I'm about to launch into the paranoid and conspiratorial portion of my report."

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

'You're being unreasonable,Hank. Me dropping your 17-pound bass was an accident.'

Where history's best ideas happen.

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

Obama Snack...

"Of course your dad loves the roller-skates you got him. He just went through the door with them."

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

'I was directing my feet to the sunny side of the street, and a BEER TRUCK got me.'

'Boy, is Mom going to be happy when she hears we melted down her gold cards and got $950 an ounce for them!'

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

'My hubby is unusually handy about the house. . . unusual in that, he is always the problem to the solution!'

"I think he's running as an independent."

'What goes on in the woods stays in the woods.'

Hair trigger

Congratulations, Mort. I noticed your campaign has already raised over $250,000. My what did what now? Very funny. I admire you, Mort. No Democrat has had the guts to take on Congressman Snidely in over 40 years. What are you talking about? I'm not running for anything. You've got a profile page up on the Justice Democrats' website. You're neck-and-neck in the polls. Justice Dem -- Wait a second, I thought I was ordering a t-shirt. I wondered why they had to run a background check for that. You'

'During my trip around the World, I took some pictures with this new digital camera... here is my finger covering the lens in Sidney... here in New York... Rome... Lisbon... Hamburg...'

A skier who has hit a solitary tree

'I fired them all. 2.437 of them. I'll go it alone.'

'I didn't come to fall in. I came to fish.'

Games and Rubiks Cubes

Emergency Ward - "The handle fell off his shooting stick, and he forgot!"

'I tripped over one of those 'Caution Slippery Floor' signs.'

A cleaning lady presses the launch button on a rocket.

'My husband hadn't kicked up his heels in 20 years, but he couldn't leave well enought alone.'