Accidental Anarchist Pillows

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

'It wasn't premeditated.

"Larry does all his own stunts."

Bathing and Showering.

'You're being unreasonable,Hank. Me dropping your 17-pound bass was an accident.'

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

"I cancelled my last appointment without phoning the Doctor... so I'm making up for it by showing up without phoning!"

"It's true that I'm overdrawn but the bribes for improving coursework marks are coming in now!"

"These family dinners have become a lot friendlier since we started wearing nametags."

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

'I was directing my feet to the sunny side of the street, and a BEER TRUCK got me.'

Bonfire of the Paperwork

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

As is often the case, many of the world's great discoveries are accidental.

'My hubby is unusually handy about the house. . . unusual in that, he is always the problem to the solution!'

Upon winning another bowling championship, Dalton throws his ball to the spectators.

I'm not challenging your authority. I'm rejecting it completely."

"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

Trying to thumb his nose at authority, Lumpy stuck his thumb in his eye! Man covering eye with his hand.

Hair trigger

'My doctor advised me to 'give up' playing the drums... He lives in the apartment below!'

"I thought they were supposed to comeback."

Emergency Ward - "The handle fell off his shooting stick, and he forgot!"

'I didn't come to fall in. I came to fish.'

Congratulations, Mort. I noticed your campaign has already raised over $250,000. My what did what now? Very funny. I admire you, Mort. No Democrat has had the guts to take on Congressman Snidely in over 40 years. What are you talking about? I'm not running for anything. You've got a profile page up on the Justice Democrats' website. You're neck-and-neck in the polls. Justice Dem -- Wait a second, I thought I was ordering a t-shirt. I wondered why they had to run a background check for that. You'

'I must inform the witness that we have not yet reached the time when an oath can be sworn on a six pack of lager...'

'During my trip around the World, I took some pictures with this new digital camera... here is my finger covering the lens in Sidney... here in New York... Rome... Lisbon... Hamburg...'

"Whoa! Looks like a worker's comp thing, Carl."

Banana Warning