Accidental Anarchist Pillows

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

'It wasn't premeditated.

"Larry does all his own stunts."

Bathing and Showering.

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

'You're being unreasonable,Hank. Me dropping your 17-pound bass was an accident.'

"I cancelled my last appointment without phoning the Doctor... so I'm making up for it by showing up without phoning!"

"It's true that I'm overdrawn but the bribes for improving coursework marks are coming in now!"

"These family dinners have become a lot friendlier since we started wearing nametags."

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

'I was directing my feet to the sunny side of the street, and a BEER TRUCK got me.'

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

Bonfire of the Paperwork

As is often the case, many of the world's great discoveries are accidental.

"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."

Trying to thumb his nose at authority, Lumpy stuck his thumb in his eye! Man covering eye with his hand.

'My hubby is unusually handy about the house. . . unusual in that, he is always the problem to the solution!'

Upon winning another bowling championship, Dalton throws his ball to the spectators.

I'm not challenging your authority. I'm rejecting it completely."

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

Hair trigger

"I thought they were supposed to comeback."

"Whoa! Looks like a worker's comp thing, Carl."

'I didn't come to fall in. I came to fish.'

'I must inform the witness that we have not yet reached the time when an oath can be sworn on a six pack of lager...'

Emergency Ward - "The handle fell off his shooting stick, and he forgot!"

'My doctor advised me to 'give up' playing the drums... He lives in the apartment below!'

'During my trip around the World, I took some pictures with this new digital camera... here is my finger covering the lens in Sidney... here in New York... Rome... Lisbon... Hamburg...'

Banana Warning

It's so nice talking to you while I'm driving, it helps to break up the monotony!