Accident-prone Warrior Gifts

'Tell me you feel bad about it. The least you can do is feel bad about it.'

First aid in mountains

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

Big slipper.

First aid departments

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

'I know just how you feel.'

William Tell Executions.

"A 15 page 'to do' list is a 'don't do' list."

Contagious Diseases.

"I want to get in touch with my inner child. I need the tech support."

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

Fencing Lessons

'I like your spirit - nine out of ten people would admit roller-disco wasn't for them!'

'He's a true athlete... tennis elbow, jogger's feet, and skier's knees.'

Protecting the green

'So we meet again...'

'No broken bones. You're lucky, looks like the tree helped break your fall.'

"Harry... Looking good buddy!"

'I know it's safe... but it is still the last time I let you buy the car.'

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

Water Ski Accident

'... but you've gotta admire him for at least trying to come back after an injury of that magnitude.'

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

Mulligan's first mulligan.

"So, what can I do for you?"

'Sidney's such a klutz. He broke his leg in three places -- Boston, Akron and Salt Lake City.'

Braveheart.