Accident-prone Adventurers Gifts

'Holy smokes! Thank heavens we have the canoe on the roof!'

First aid in mountains

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

First aid departments

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

'I know just how you feel.'

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

'I like your spirit - nine out of ten people would admit roller-disco wasn't for them!'

'I'd like to play, but I'm afraid it might void my warranty.'

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

Tunnel of Dove.

'No broken bones. You're lucky, looks like the tree helped break your fall.'

'I was directing my feet to the sunny side of the street, and a BEER TRUCK got me.'

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

Mulligan's first mulligan.

Water Ski Accident

'Tell me you feel bad about it. The least you can do is feel bad about it.'

'Sidney's such a klutz. He broke his leg in three places -- Boston, Akron and Salt Lake City.'

'It doesn't look good, coach. He was sitting down after cheering a base hit and got a sliver - a big one... He might be lost for the rest of the season.'

'Guess what? I'm going to be on 'World's Worst Drivers'!'

"That's Tom, he spends most of his game in the water hazards."

"Oh, that's Mr Norris. He's our risk analyst."

'Everything was fine until he pressed 'upload'.'

'Something's come up that isn't covered in the security guard's handbook.'

'He does it every year - we call it his winter break.'

'I didn't come to fall in. I came to fish.'

"Did you make all these 911 calls?"

'Gardening mishap-the window boxes fell on him!'

'You wrecked ANOTHER snowmobile?'