Accident-prone Fixer Gifts

Wife to doctor about husband: 'It was a freak accident. He was doing some work on the house.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

"You run into a window, too?"

'No it's still not fixed'

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

Home Business - Printer Ink.

Self-Assembly Bookcase

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

Broken ankle.

'I've got my bandages to protect me!'

"Hello... is that the help desk?"

"We will indeed be facing numerous enraged customers."

"Kick the machine"

'I think I should take my hubby for counselling. . . his brain and hands aren't on talking terms.'

God's lil' fix-it shop.

'Oops! Maybe I should've put this sign out a little earlier.'

Power and the Glory tools

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

"Dad, I'll assemble yours if you assemble mine."

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

Medical insurance reminder

"I had to improvise"

Arnie's career is cut short by a beanball! (man sits at desk).

Attack of footballs.

"Tell Santa that Rudolph's check engine light is on."

'If we happen to experience deja vu, let's make sure we do some things differently.'

Murphy and his brother 'sod' at work on their now famous law.