Accent Humorist Pillows

'I reckon your scouse accent has really got it flummoxed!'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"The Eggsorcist"

"Say 'eh.'"

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"A haand gel...!?"

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

'Actually, I think my use of hyperbole is not only iconoclastic, it is potentially revolutionary.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"This quarterly report is terrible. The only way we can make this sound better is if we read it in an English accent."

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"It's obviously an original."

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

Translating Contractor to English