Academic Questioner Gifts

Life is About Learning

Eternal Student.

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

Scarcity

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

School. Learning is a lifelong process. It's only the graduation ceremonies that end.

"But what if this is all there is?"

"And you need to know this why?"

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.

Max Weber

"I don't know why we try so hard to get the right answers. There isn't even a prize."

"So I bought this doohickey that is very good with chaos."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

'Is there a God? God knows...'

"If you would like to get to know me I'm teaching a course on me next semester."

Diversity Does Not Include Class

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."