Academic Pretender Gifts

The Artificial Intelligentsia

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'Hard or soft science?'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"As you can see from the books behind me, I pretend to read a lot of books."

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

History. The worst past is my dad says they're still making history!

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

"You need more info? Listen, son, our ancestors faked it, I fake it, and by gawd, it's time you learned to fake it."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Thomas Carlyle

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!