Academic Parent Gifts

'Right that covers nutritional theory in the socio-economic context of class structure in a eurocentric and essentially homophobic culture, now if one of you could take a tit out we'll do a practical.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

Yummy Mummies

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

"It's a GPS for busy executive mom. It tells you if your coming or going and when you'll get there!"

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

'How did our summer vacation turn intoa summer job??'

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

'When I want to watch a realistic comedy about a working mom, I'll look in the mirror.'

"Lemme guess: You forgot the basil Mom asked for, and my ice cream is in your briefcase?"

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

Igloo Art.

"Quick mommy, call Sothebys."

'It wasn't my fault. They asked me about things that happened before I was born.'

"Tough time getting out of the house this morning?"

"Higher learning gets higher each year."

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

"Do I read better than Mommy?"

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

"Be there in a sec, darling. I just want to touch base with Tiffany."

'Alert the troops I'm going back to work.'

"Looks like Dad has finally given up on trying to beat us at chess."

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

Principal: 'Is THERE a DOCTORATE in the House?!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"Daddy, I'm all grown up now, and I'm leaving to start a life of my own."