Academia Juggle-master Gifts

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

Interdisciplinary studies.

Multi-tasking.

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"How was work?"

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'What rhymes with D minus?'

Barack Obama's To Do list.

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

Food deliverer's baby.

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

Hassled Mother.

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work, I overslept.'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

Education Guidance

A mother drives a mini-van full of kids; her bumper sticker reads "I'd rather be working".

'Good to see you back at work.'

'Looks like someone got their bags mixed up at daycare drop-off.'

Having It All

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

'Jack, you're being way too entertaining. This is supposed to be a bored meeting.'

"Finally. The baby's asleep, the washing's done, I've finished cleaning the house..."