Academia Juggle-master T-Shirts

The timing doesn't work for eco-club to start a garden. I have a better idea. Build a compost bin. You can recycle the school's leaves and grass clippings. You'll have good soil for a garden next spring. That's not enough time for college admissions essays. Write about the trauma of delayed gratification. Never heard of it.

Children's Parties

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

Interdisciplinary studies.

Multi-tasking.

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"How was work?"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'What rhymes with D minus?'

Barack Obama's To Do list.

Food deliverer's baby.

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work, I overslept.'

Hassled Mother.

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

Education Guidance

A mother drives a mini-van full of kids; her bumper sticker reads "I'd rather be working".

'Good to see you back at work.'

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

'Looks like someone got their bags mixed up at daycare drop-off.'

Having It All

"Finally. The baby's asleep, the washing's done, I've finished cleaning the house..."

'Jack, you're being way too entertaining. This is supposed to be a bored meeting.'