Academia Appreciator Gifts

'That's because they won't let you die until you pay your student loans.'

Graduates on their phones

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Final words on gravestones.

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

Couple kissing by a 'Ped Xing and Oing' sign.

Soldier, Statesman, Travel Agent

Sue Perkins

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

Couple in Grey

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

Scale indicates the value of books.

"If you insist on giving me a gift for being accepted into Oxford, I could use a new DVD player...gift wrapped in a BMW."

1715 - Newton discovers gravel.

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

Let me guess...you peed on your homework again!

Alternative Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons

"I just love your use of lying"

'I'm still beautiful you know . . . you just have to read between the lines.'

'After the wizard gave me the brain,of course, I felt like I should use it.'

"You'd think a Humanities professor would be more lenient in her grading."

Sherlock Holmes gets back at Professor Moriarty through reduced research funding.

'I thought he was passing out homework!'

'She didn't want to go out with you even though you told her you had a h-index of 37! Boy I don't understand women!'

"I'm sorry Professor, but you know too much!"

"Everything's higher this year."

Oxford tour guides

"See, Mom? I'm not such a know-it-all."

Franz Oppenheimer

"...and this is my better half...!"

"Congratulations on your Pulitzer. Now, let's revisit the university's contract offer."

"I'm already seeing an anthropologist."

'Why don't they ever get us to test nice stuff, like new ice-cream flavours or video games...'