Academia Aficionado Gifts

"Welcome to the I.V. league."

'Please excuse Josh's tardiness. The American academy of pediatrics has recommended a later start to the school day for teens.'

"Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing."

'Since you conduct only thought experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought results.'

'Your anatomy teacher says you're a pain in the gluteus.'

'Actually I can't even figure out the origin of this organization.'

"You know, Derek, copying from my test isn't just cheating, it's copyright infringement."

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."

"You can't be a mathematician and have a sense of humor."

College Gifts - Unusual gifts colleges recieve.

"Which are you going to believe? Some big old textbook or Wikipedia?"

"Aha! A rare sighting of the employed graduate."

"I buried my doctoral thesis in an unmarked grave. . . because, ultimately, you never know."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

Driverless cars rage.

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"