Absurd Task Enthusiast Gifts

'I hired a gatherer to do some work around the cave.'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Glance Exchange

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Extreme Sisyphus

A private jet takes off

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

"Who's next?"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Valet park only"

One way only.

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"It's my helper trout!"

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"I like fountains very much!"

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'You need some stress.'

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

Nikolai Gogol

"Bad dog!"

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

Man guarding a written border.

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."