Absurd Fashion Fan T-Shirts

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Emergency Hipster Beard

Pastry Hat

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

"He's deliciously vintage."

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

Bernice Mountain Dog

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

"I believe in consistent branding."

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

Strange man has a nose monocle.

Ms. Bronte has a bad Eyre day.

Chick Billiard Ball

Salad Hat

"Is really wet, here!"

Lester Hacks into an Abacus.

'Hot Apple Pie' from a cash machine