Absurdist Fan T-Shirts

"On your left."

"Do you think he'll bring treats?"

Pastry Hat

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Glance Exchange

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"Valet park only"

Boomerang cow.

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.

Franz Kafka

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

"I like fountains very much!"

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

Man guarding a written border.

Nikolai Gogol

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

'Oh Great. We just missed the once a millennia bus out.'

Chick Billiard Ball

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

"Is really wet, here!"