Absurdity Fans T-Shirts

'Give me all your money or I'll blow smoke in your face.'

No glass, no washing up, so it's free!

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Tourists and their Pets.

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Glance Exchange

Pastry Hat

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"Who's next?"

"Valet park only"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

One way only.

"It's my helper trout!"

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

Breakfast surreal.

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

"I like fountains very much!"

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'You need some stress.'

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."