Absurd Equestrian Moments Fan Gifts

"Catch the rope Alice. Catch the rope and tie it firmly round his neck."

Rocking Horse

"What the hell took so long?"

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

Son burying his dad in sand

Long before Newton, Yampoo discovers gravity, unfortunately the Liazo Tribe doesn't have a written alphabet.

A seal is riding atop a great white shark!

The Horse Races

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

"The computers are down. You'll just have to suffer and go outside and play."

"Dad, sit still! I'm trying to watch the flea-circus acts!"

"You're wearing it backwards."

"They play with our shoes - we'll play with theirs."

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

Grooming: Make sure your pony is securely tied.

"HEY!" (Bird mistakes udder for a worm).

The Epsom Derby - Beer Stall

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

An awkward moment during the coronation...

"Sorry guys, these are restricted premises: Show me your teeth so that I can check your age..."

"So, is this your very first visit to a massage therapist?"

"Here's Lori's black bean soup, but I'll need the container back — my mother-in-law's ashes were in it."

'The party at school was awful! -- The teacher didn't like the Valentine underwear I got for her.'

'Are you playing hoofsie with me?'

'He's showing off his muscles again! Why do the mares find the eventing guys so fascinating?!'

'Your knees are wandering.'

Ways to mount a horse

'You know I have a race tomorrow.'

"For god's sake man stop doing the backstroke."

Will sing for pony nuts.

"I don't think I'd mind so much if it was another woman."

'What do you think?'

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Hound dog sniffing and pointing at bunny slippers.