Absurd Aficionado Pillows

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Tourists and their Pets.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Glance Exchange

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Extreme Sisyphus

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Optimist

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Zoo: No Hunting.

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Valet park only"

"Who's next?"

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

One way only.

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"It's my helper trout!"

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.

Boardroom sacrifice - 'Then we agree - the shareholders don't have to know what transpired here today.'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

Corporate Darwinism