Absurdity Afficionado Pillows

Desert island with a 'no food or drink' sign.

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Tourists and their Pets.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Glance Exchange

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Extreme Sisyphus

Optimist

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Zoo: No Hunting.

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Valet park only"

"Who's next?"

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

One way only.

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"It's my helper trout!"

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.

Corporate Darwinism

A convenient attack of swine flu...

Boardroom sacrifice - 'Then we agree - the shareholders don't have to know what transpired here today.'

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."