Absent-minded Professor Pillows

'Don't worry about this meeting. I got everything we need right up here.'

'My mind was a million miles away today, but that wasn't far enough.'

"Oh, that reminds me of this article I barely remember."

"Are you going to move?"

"Hello?"

"Trust me to forget my club!"

'Your problem is you've lost contact with reality.'

"Remember, they're usually in the last place you'd look."

"I'm sorry I didn't find your wallet but I found six pairs of reading glasses!"

"I'm sorry, Dear, but my shopping was so rushed I forgot the batteries for the smoke alarms."

"Check his work. He can't even get the deli order right when it's his turn for lunch."

"Our smart refrigerator should have a sensor that stops pouring water when someone walks away and forgets to come back."

"He's forgotten why he was shouting at the telly."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

"They need to come up with an app that will locate your glasses."

'Which arrow points to my office?'

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

"Phone, wallet, glasses... What am I forgetting?"

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

"I like that you all brought enthusiasm, but did anyone bring food?"

The brain cell that was suppose to help me remember.

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

"I'm a speaker and I'm lost. Which one of these rooms has the conference/seminar/convention/wedding that I don't remember the name of?"

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."