Absent-minded Anecdotes Pillows

"Now that you mention it, I think that I too may have a Master's in Education."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

"They need to come up with an app that will locate your glasses."

Newton discovers surrealism

'Which arrow points to my office?'

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

"Phone, wallet, glasses... What am I forgetting?"

"And so it begins... Now where'd I put my dang glasses..."

The brain cell that was suppose to help me remember.

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

Mary had forgotten about her recent online shopping purchase!

"I'm a speaker and I'm lost. Which one of these rooms has the conference/seminar/convention/wedding that I don't remember the name of?"

'Ferguson's not at his desk -- He must be sleepwalking again!'

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

"I've lost my keys, my wallet and my iPhone! Frankly, I think MINE is the lost generation!"

"I keep forgetting it's not Christmas,"

"Ha, ha, wait … so Cheryl from accounting, ha, ha, ha, is your, ha, ha, wife?!!"

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

"Tonight? I thought it was tomorrow night."

"Honey, did you see where I placed that book entitled:'How to improve your memory?"

"Only once! That particular winter morning, it has snowed overnight and the sunrise was so spectacular I was speechless: I forgot to cock-a-doodle-do!"