A Day In The Lab Observer Gifts

'Believe me, a pet doesn't do a day's work in his life.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I am not asking for directions."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'In general, do the right thing.'

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

The new boy was teased for being different.

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

Test-tube people

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

'So I left a little bit out of the genetic code when I cloned you. You're only missing a nose. What's the big deal?'

'I don't know whether we should call the world pres or keep quiet?'

'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'

Astronomers using giant telescope to light fires.

'He can call whoever he wants, she's still not parking that thing in my classroom!'

A psychiatrist is at the end of the maze.

"Obviously somebody contaminated the sample, Kevin."

Scientific Tea.

"I tried talking to the principal about what I’d be teaching next semester, but he kept changing the subject."

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

'There, Farnsworth Still think it was my imagination'

"Yee-ouch! That's gotta hurt."

'You're wrong - this is brain surgery!'

"Ms. Sims and I have known each other for quite some time, but it turns out we aren't on a first-name basis."

'Well, now that you've found a cure, all our funding will be sent to another division.'

'Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob.'