420 Fan Gifts

"THIS is a green deal I can get interested in."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

DIY marriage counseling.

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

Workplace Confidentiality.

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'It's exploded! The wizard warned him to break it in gently.'

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

Aren't all gifts free?

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

"Judging by your X-rays, I'd say you've been exposed to too much radiation."

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

"Try taking baby steps."

"All those years studying mayhem. All that postgraduate work in looting and pillaging; and here I am, rowing the friggin' boat."

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, 1870 - Urchins Cheer the Carriages Home

"I understand your excitement, but I think you're overdoing it with the heart emojis."

"Protein bars! Energy drinks!"

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."