Zoologist Humorist T-Shirts

'I still don't get it. I can't see the likeness.'

City Zoo: Day Care

'Teenagers!'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Scuba cow"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Too much concealer?"

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Jurassic Pork.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Hats and Food

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'