Zoologist Humorist Pillows

'I still don't get it. I can't see the likeness.'

City Zoo: Day Care

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Hats and Food

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Too much concealer?"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Scuba cow"

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"