Zen With A Twist Gifts

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

Working from OM.

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

Zen Litter Box

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

'Never, NEVER sneeze while you're levitating.'

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

"My mental ink pen ran dry.

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

'Mr Gottlieb recently read one of those books on Japanese management techniques.'

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

Working from Om